i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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