what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
