1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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