when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
