Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
