I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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