i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
