dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
