my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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