he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
