I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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