I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
