great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
