Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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