I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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