Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
