just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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