You're my little dorito
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
