yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize