I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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