Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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