my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
