Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Terrible idea I love it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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