I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had to cum in my sink.
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