But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Watching her eat just hurts me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
