I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
