If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This gyro tastes like lonliness
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
