He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
