Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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