whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think my moral compass just broke
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