i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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