Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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