this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
