I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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