So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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