Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So vagazzling was a success
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
