she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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