I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
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I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
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My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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