Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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