i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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