census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
