I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
