hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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