i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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