She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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