Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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