My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Randomize
