Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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