Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize