In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
