How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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