sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
