i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
