what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
