He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
