So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize