What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
