Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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