i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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