She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
