nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
