Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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