office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
